Sometimes a stroll down memory lane is just what the doctor ordered.... but sometimes, it unearths long buried heartache that you never wanted to experience again....
A breakup is never fun, especially when you never quite understood why it happened. As time passes, it gets easier, but there are still questions. You wonder what you did, what you lacked, etc...but if enough time goes by, you learn to put those thoughts in a box deep inside.
In this age of Facebook and Myspace, your past can reach out to you when you least expect it. Sometimes it’s wonderful, like talking to an old friend that you just lost touch with because of the craziness of life. However, when someone asks you to pull out that old black box, the one you locked away long ago, Pandora is just the beginning of your problems.
Regrets... we all have them, but I wish people would think beyond their selfish pain before reaching out. Scratching an itch because you’re sad and lonely isn’t fair. The call, the email, whatever the form the contact comes in alleviates their discomfort, but the one contacted is left raw, scab torn off...and once again ... alone.
You tell me that I’ll always have a place in your heart. You tell me that you regret, but you’ve been with her for 10 years... What stopped you? Things could have been fixed, yes, it would have been messy, but if you truly cared, you would have found a way. If you truly cared, you wouldn’t contact me now, knowing that there are 3 beautiful innocent lives that have only recently been brought into this world. You get to go back to your family, while I get to be alone, left with thoughts of what might have been... I hate that you made me remember... you were neatly tucked away, why couldn’t you stay that way?
You are one of the ghosts that haunt me from time to time, but I’m not the fragile girl you once knew. I am stronger than ever before, and I know that I deserve a vibrant person in my life. Someone who will love me with passion and devotion. Maybe it’s a good thing that you made me pull out that box.... perhaps this time, I’ll throw it away.
